Eddie's Best Pick-up Riddle

I found the best riddle today on my A Year of Riddles app (great fun if you like riddles, are mildly obsessed with The Riddler or both). Maybe it's just my dirty mind but it instantly made me think of the kind of riddle Edward Nygma would use to pick up girls, showing his incredible genius and that he is capable of amazingly smutty double entendre (I'm sold).

Have a look:

I saw a strange creature:
Long, hard, and straight,
Thrusting into a round, dark opening,
Preparing to discharge its load of lives.
Puffing and squealing noises accompanied it,
Then a final screech as it slowed and stopped.

Do you guys know what it is? Leave a comment if you want to guess (don't cheat by googling it...anyone can do that...) and I'll tell you if you're right!

My Week with Mallachi the Oriental Cat (in pictures)

Saturday

Mallachi settles down for the week.

Sunday

He likes it on the sofa...

Monday

...but prefers it on my lap.

Tuesday

Beds are for sleeping on...

...as are blankets...

...but after a long day...

...you need somewhere to rest your head. Hff.

Wednesday

He thinks blue hairs are the perfect finishing touch to my white cardigan...

...and strikes a pose. Diva.

Thursday

He's awake!

Maybe not.

Friday

It's an exhausting life...but someone's got to live it.

Kitty and the Bulldog

Here are my photos of the lolita and Harajuku fashion from the Kitty and the Bulldog exhibition at London's Victoria and Albert museum:

Here is the V&A's page with more details about the exhibition.

Archangels at the Victoria and Albert Museum

So I went on my second Archangel hunt today and ended up at London's V&A.

The V&A has a wonderful Medieval section as well as a beautiful collection of sculptures, architecture, metalwork, Asian design, British design and clothing.

On to the angels (these are just some of the angel themed art at the V&A):

Archangel Saraqael

This is actually a print found in the British section of the museum. It is not catalogued as featuring Saraqael (Suriel / Sariel) however Saraqael is mentioned on the inscription. Don't ask me which one (s)he is though!

Archangel Uriel

Once again this stained glass window is not listed as featuring Uriel however Uriel is the archangel usually attributed to banishing Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden.

Archangel Gabriel

Archangel Michael

This is from the same stained glass window as Uriel. Once again he's not listed as being Michael but he's in armour and he's sticking a spear in a devil so...it's Michael.

This sculpture makes me smile! He looks so pleased with himself! And though I know he's pointing up to Heaven I kind of feel like any second now he's going to stick his middle finger up XD

Other Angels

These are un-named angels but I think they are too lovely not to include.

***

Keep your eyes open for my next post about the Kitty and the Bulldog exhibition also at the V&A.

Valerie and Gemma

Continuing with my series of posts about work I finished before I started this blog, here is the first ever film I made! It was completed as an exercise during my first semester at the NFTS to help me understand what happens to my scripts after I write them. As part of the exercise I not only had to write the film but also direct, edit and partially produce it. I am very proud of it!

To watch the film just click the picture!

Archangels in the National Gallery

Yesterday I went on a research trip to the British Museum to see if I could get some inspiration for the treatment I am writing about angels however I discovered out of everything they have (and they have a lot of weird and exciting stuff) they only had two pieces (one the size of a penny) featuring named archangels. So I trudged across London and tried my luck at the National Gallery (in particular the Sainsbury Wing) and...bingo! I know the Sainsbury Wing is not everybody's cup of tea, being a gallery of Christian iconography (I watched a few people realise where they were and turn around) however if you go with an open-mind, I promise you will find something you will enjoy for its artistic value, just as much as you would in the rest of the gallery. Of course if you can't possibly bear the idea of looking at religious art the main gallery has many depictions of un-named angels and cute little baby cherubs (which though probably very adorable are nothing like how cherubs are supposed to look).

So here are my favourite images of Archangels Gabriel, Raphael and Michael from London's National Gallery (NB, these are my favourites from the gallery but not necessarily my all time favourites):

Archangel Gabriel

The Annunciation by Fra Filippo Lippi

What I like most about this painting is the way the poses, though different, mirror each other giving a sense balance and serenity. The mirroring of the bowed heads also suggests that both Gabriel and Mary have respect for each other and are of equal importance and status. Finally I like the depiction of Gabriel. He is not some cute, defenceless child, he is a handsome, strapping young man. With his peacock feather wings and embellished clothing he could be proud however he is humble and earnest to those who show respect to him - who could ask for more from possibly the most famous of Archangels?

Archangel Raphael

Tobias and the Angel by Andrea del Verrocchio

Though Tobias is really only in the painting so that we know this is Raphael rather than any everyday angel he adds so much to the pose. The pair stride merrily down the path and are deep in conversation - Raphael is a good travelling partner. As with Gabriel Raphael's clothing is anything but plain suggesting that he is not only someone special but a creature of beauty. His wings are those of a swallow's, a bird representing safe journeys and victories, highlighting Raphael's victories over the two demons who wish to waylay Tobias' journey whilst with him.

Archangel Michael

It was images of Michael depicted in the following manner (rather than in a white dress) that made me want to write my own series about angels - there is so much more to angels than placid messengers.

Saint Michael Triumphant over the Devil by Bartoleme Bermejo

Introducing Michael the warrior angel! Could he look any more ready for action with his arm raised, about to slay the devil and his cape billowing behind him? With such detailed creases I feel like I can actually hear his cape ruffling in the wind. And could he look any more regal with his embellished red cape and golden armour? Michael is not just any old angel - he is power, he is might...he battled an enormous army and saved the whole of Heaven and Earth.

Archangel Michael by Carlo Crivelli

Once again Michael looks resplendent in his embellished armour and devil slaying pose. What I particularly like about this version is his expression. Unlike Bermejo's serene depiction this Michael means business which is emphasised by the humans looking up for mercy from his scales and the lions on his leg armour. This angel is no simple messenger or choir boy - he is above all things a warrior.

If you are interested in the other images of angels at the National Gallery you can buy a book called 'A Closer Look: Angels' by Erika Langmuir.

If you are interested in depictions of angels in roles other than messengers (and can't wait for my version) then I recommend the film Dogma and the short story Murder Mysteries by Neil Gaiman (later adapted into a radio play and graphic novel).

It Always Comes Back to Heath Ledger

Continuing with my series of posts about work I finished before I started this blog, here is a comedy monologue that I wrote for TV director and producer Aniello De Santi.

I really love writing monologues so expect more in the future!

Trust Neil, He's a Doctor

I was told on Friday that I'm a great writer but my writing is too weird to ever be popular and make up the cost of producing it. I was very sad - I think it would be much easier to be told, "you're a crap writer, get a real job". I was going to write to Neil Gaiman to ask advice on how to carry on when someone tells you this but first watched his University of the Arts Commencement Address. I cried. It told me everything I needed to hear. I will still write to him, but now to thank him.

If you have been told your writing is too strange please listen to Neil, a man who has made his career writing strange things.

The Automated Heart Concept Art

Concept art for my steampunk, gothic horror, fantasy adventure, The Automated Heart.

You can see full sized versions of these pictures and my other art HERE.

Wilmington Country Market

I'm making a new poster for Wilmington Country Market (the market deserves more custom than it gets) so I thought I would also do some shameless promoting here.

Wilmington Country Market is held every Thursday 10-11.30am in Wilmington Parish Hall, Wilmington (near Dartford), Kent. The produce is 100% local and very reasonably priced.

What's on offer:

• Hand baked breads, buns, cakes, pastries, biscuits and pies

• Hand made greetings cards, jewellery, clothing and wood craft

 

•  Free range eggs

•  Home grown seasonal plants, fruit and vegetables

•  Hand painted ceramics

•  Preserves, often made from the market's fruit 

•  As well as other seasonal products and the opportunity to have a cup of tea and a slice of cake.

Contact information can be found HERE.